We are NOT Alone

I am in the mood to write. It feels like ages since I've written last. I apologize. I had a goal to write once a week that I did not achieve, but there is always hope for the future.

Speaking of hope for the future, the last couple of days were rough for me personally. I had a diabetic doctor appointment this last Thursday, and I did not hear what I wanted to hear. Probably the only good things I heard in this appointment were that my blood pressure was good and my blood work was normal. All of that was overshadowed by the fact that my A1C went up a full percentage point from where it was three months ago. For those of you who are not familiar with diabetic jargon, learn about A1C by clicking on the link. This is very upsetting to me (I cried in front of my FNP) for a few reasons. First there is not a chance in Hades' underworld that my healthcare professionals will let me become pregnant with numbers such as these. I have to be below a 7. Two, I started exercising again awhile ago and it hasn't seemed to do a bit of good. Three, it takes forever to get A1c levels back to normal. It took me around two plus years for it to drop 4/10s of a point, and that was when my metabolism was normal and young. Personal hell.

Now I have always believed in miracles. I have always believed in angels (including guardian angels), and I have always believed that God is always there even during what seems like devil himself is climbing out of his hole and rearing his head. You just have to look and find God for He is there somewhere. I have always found comfort and solace in the scripture found in John 14:18 (KJV) "I will not leave you comfortless: I will come to you." For the last couple of days however, I did not remember that scripture. Today, in church, as we sang the familiar hymn "Be Thou Humble" I was reminded. The lyrics:

Be thou humble in thy weakness, and the Lord thy God shall lead thee,
Shall lead thee by the hand and give thee answer to thy prayers.

Be thou humble in thy pleading, and the Lord thy God shall bless thee,

Shall bless thee with a sweet and calm assurance that he cares. [...]

Be thou humble in thy longing, and the Lord thy God shall take thee,

Shall take thee home at last to ever dwell with him above.

 

When singing this song, I was reminded that God loves, cares, and understands. Jesus Christ understands. This is what part of the Atonement is all about. We are not alone in our life-long struggles. God knows the desires of our hearts. One of mine is to have a family. One way or another Hubs and I will have a family. Right now that journey seems so long, but I am happy and comforted to know I won't be taking the journey alone. This brings me peace even though I don't understand the obstacles. I need a miracle. To end this post I will post a poem written by yours truly way back in community college. It is somewhat fitting to the topic. I was actually talking with a friend not too long ago about this poem and told her I would share it with her. If you are reading this, friend, I hope you enjoy.

The Dove

Is there peace in chaos?

I believe there is.

You must, however, have patience

to find it. For just a moment stop

in your crazy world and 

focus.

Dive straight into Hell

where order and confusion clash.

Take all the strength you possess

with persistence and effort

to overcome blind sightedness.

Fight the war between good and evil.

Ram your already bruised body against

the cage you call reality.

Search for the peace,

there is hope.

Hell is only the surface,

for deep within your soul

lives the dove.

A Beautiful World Part One: Winter

"If you can't be in awe of Mother Nature, there's something wrong with you." Alex Trebek

Our winter was and has been unusual I suppose for my corner of Utah. Having only been living here for two years, I do not know enough to make that judgement, but everyone around me has. Why? Because it snowed like snow was going out of style and was pretty darn cold.

I, personally, enjoy winter and snow. Similar to everyone else, I am not fond of driving on icy roads, getting snow in my shoes, or slipping on ice, but I am of the opinion that winter is rather awe inspiring. Unfortunately I hear everyday, "I'm sick of the snow!" "I'm sick of the cold!" "It's so ugly outside!" etc. It gets old.

Because of this I am providing a list of reasons why to love and be happy in the winter even when it is cold and overcast.

1. There is still color. The world is beautiful. It still has colors and sparkles even when devoid of the sun. The mostly "white" or "gray" days feel like the world is making itself pure again. There have been many "gray" days this winter and many acquaintances told me, "It is so depressing. I'm sick of brown and white." I still see colors in the mountains and in the world around me. There are browns, whites, hues of yellow (in the sky, not the snow), and greens, and blues, some light lavender. When the sun is down, there are deep blues and navy, and black, perhaps even hints of purple. There are the deep greens and grays. If the sun or moon is out, the snow becomes millions of tiny rainbows. Stunning. I love it. Even the air sparkles. WOW.

2. Mountains covered in snow. Not only is this great for the farming community and all that, One cannot look at snow covered peaks and not sigh at the splendor. Majestically they reach towards the heavens. I fill with pride when I look at the mountains' winter blanket. For those of you who are not surrounded by mountains. I am sorry.

3. Winter night sky. If the sky is cloudless, there is something about the winter night sky that is so magical. The crispy air (which is another thing I love) combined with darkness which only comes in winter. The stars shine so brightly in cold air. I don't know why it is, but it makes me happy.

4. This picture...

No explanation needed.





5. Winter activities. Skiing made my ankles hurt, but lots of people love it, especially in Utah. There is also ice skating, sledding, snowshoeing (if that is your thing), and many more. Great family fun.

6. No naked bodies. If you live where I live, or have lived, or anywhere where it is considered a heat wave if the temperature reaches 10 degrees F in the winter, then one doesn't have to see people wearing next to nothing. You always hear the cliche that you can always layer when it is cold, but there are only so many layers to shed when it is hot. You can be stark naked in the summer and still be sweating. Just saying.

7. The snow is a perfect pet bathroom. It is much easier to see your dog's poop at night on the snow then on grass. With as much snow as we got this year this winter, I've not had to use my flashlight at all to pick up Victor's evidence of bowel movement. If he lifts his leg but the snow remains white, I know he's emptied himself completely and we can go home. Yeah it is hard to hold a flashlight in one hand and fiddle with a poop bag in the other.

8. Hot chocolate, hot cider, and soups. YUM!

9. Snowflakes. Not one snowflake alike. I find this fact fascinating. There is so much snow all over the world. Countless number of snowflakes and not one is like the other. I like to imagine that God has all the little children in Heaven design and make paper snowflakes as templates. They are all beautiful works of art. I especially like the fluffy cotton ball snowflakes. Even winter storms are amazing, blizzards and fogs.

10. God's love. The creation of the world and all of its seasons is amazing. Every time there is a snowstorm, or piles of snow, I am reminded of what a beautiful and amazing world we were given. I respect nature's power. Each season has a purpose and an explanation. If the weather was the same all year we would be going mad with boredom or just be extinct. Spring brings new life and blossoms. Summer brings the bright sun and flip flops. Fall brings beautiful leaves and perfect jacket weather. Winter lets much of the world rest and cleanses the Earth before starting anew with Spring. Granted I do get wary of winter because I will be ready for the change, but by that time Spring has already sprung.

God really has given us this beautiful world, and I cannot make you love one season over the other. But, you can still respect it. Cozy up under a blanket and read with hot chocolate in your hands and enjoy the season of Winter while it's still here.