So many things on a Sabbath day make me smile and happy. Taking the sacrament, listening to testimonies, feeling the spirit are just a few things, but for the last couple of Sundays and for probably a few more I have been subbing as a pianist for the Primary (a Sunday school for children ages 4ish?-11). I love it. Don't get me wrong, I love going to the adult Gospel Doctrine class and all, but there is something about playing for the kids that just makes me melt. Primary children have the ability to bring out the spirit in the best way. (not to be confused with the few mishaps that happen to argue to the contrary)
Kids, especially the youngest ones, are so incredibly funny. They each have their own personalities, and probably because they aren't my children I find them all very sweet. We have the ones who are very gentle, quiet, sit very still, and will raise their hands. There are those who will sit quietly until it comes to singing, and they will belt the song out. Their whole body gets into it, especially when you have sign language added to the mix. You have those who are somewhere in the middle. They want to sit quietly and behave, but eventually they have to wiggle. We have children who are so shy, they spend their time hiding their faces behind their hands. Then you have the kids who just do not want to be in primary. They won't sing or participate in anything. These are the kids who will want to spend the whole time talking, and the teacher is spending the whole time shushing them. In the meantime, I being behind the piano, can smile and laugh.
This video is the best that I found that illustrates a couple of these personalities. The spirit they are conveying is beautiful, but watch the kids themselves. Some of them are really having a hard time standing still. My favorite is a boy in an orange tie around the 2:48-2:50 mark. He has his hands in his armpits. HAHAHA!! (I am sorry to the mother of this child. I took great delight in this. You were probably mortified.)
When I looked at the faces of the children in Primary today, I could see such sweet innocence. They are so smart, and the littlest ones were so kind and generous to help the leader carry things so she could set up for her lesson. The older kids helped, but it wasn't as quick. I had the thought of why aren't we all like that? As a child we are trusting, loving, and willing to lend an awkward tiny hand, even the shy ones. Unfortunately, as these children get older, as we get older, they will become less trusting, less willing. There was a movie that came out in 1993 called House of Cards. There is a comment made by Kathleen Turner's character about when her son was born, and she looked into his eyes, she could see everything. She saw intelligence, and that it was like he knew everything that there was to know. However, with each second that "knowledge" was slipping away. That was how I felt today. These babies come into the world innocent, full of life, love, and open to the wonders of the world. Then with each passing moment that innocence quietly slips away.
There is a reason why Jesus tells us so many times to become as little children. Matthew 18:3 "Verily I say unto you, Except ye be converted, and become as little children, ye shall not enter into the kingdom of heaven." This is because of their innocence, and their willingness and open hearts and minds to learn. They are humble enough to learn as we should be.
I saw this in those little children today as I accompanied their sweet voices. I loved every minute of it. Seeing these children gave me hope for the world. It made me happy. With all the sorrows and the devastating events in the world, these children are our future, and I can see their potential to make it better. I just pray they can keep their innocence for just a few moments more. They don't have the cares that we adults do. It is their time to live, enjoy life and to wiggle and giggle as much as possible before they become too lazy and/or tired.
Now just a few more pictures that does my heart good. Picture of my nieces and nephews from my family and from Hubs' family (disclaimer, I do not own any of these pics. I did not obtain permission from the families to which these pics belong to, so I hope they are okay with me stealing them. Also there are a few nieces and nephews I am missing. Sadly, I have no way of getting those pictures.) I just love these kids. Yes my oldest nephew is still a kid to me. :) In some of these pics, you can really see their personalities. Doesn't it just make you want to hug and kiss them all? ... Maybe that is just me.
The one on the left is my oldest nephew
Sister-in-law's girls
Brother-in-law's kids
all my siblings children
HAPPY THANKSGIVING EVERYONE!!! (you thought I forgot didn't you?)
"A book is a present you can open again and again." Mary Engelbreit
The last few posts I was amazed and grateful for how many people read them. They were so serious, but they were about things that really do make me feel peace, contentment, and happiness. So this week it is time to lighten the mood, and write about something I am very passionate about and take seriously (mostly). Reading.
I love to read. When I was young, you would always find me reading something. Late at night I would stuff towels under my bedroom door, so anyone looking wouldn't see the light. I am not really sure that that worked. I may have been caught a few times. Anyway, I love the feel of books in my hands, and I am very proud of my "library." Hubs tried to make me get rid of some books when we moved. I don't believe he was expecting the fight and tears that ensued. However, I did cave on a few and gave them to a second hand place. I cried. Don't get me wrong. I love people, but I have only a few true and loyal friends. Books are where I find my constant and unchanging friends. I have a personal connection and memory with each book I own, even the ones I haven't read yet. I can laugh and cry with Anne Shirley of the drama of childhood. I can ride on a broomstick with Harry Potter. I can gain wisdom from Jane Eyre. I can fall in love and marry Mr. Darcy as Elizabeth Bennett *sigh*. I can ask questions about society with Jem and Scout Finch. I can solve a murder with Hercule Poirot or Miss Marple. I can learn how eat right, exercise right, sleep right, I can learn about religions. How much we have to learn from a book? I can escape my reality by reading a book. I can find friends who would understand me in a book. Mario Vargas Llosa said, "It is the food of the rebellious spirit, the promulgator of nonconformities, the refuge for those who have too much or too little in life." I have many times gone to books for comfort, release of stress and pent-up emotions, but also to share in my joy when I did not have a human friend nearby. I have gone to books for confirmation and justification of beliefs and have feelings reciprocated. In my loneliest times of life I was caught with a book in my hand.
"The dearest ones of time, the strongest friends of the soul--books." Emily Dickinson.
The excellent, excellent essay I am quoting by Mario Vargas Llosa entitled "Why Literature?" it was written in 2001. I highly recommend reading it. It will convert you to the world of words. It talks about technology, and the downfall of society without literature. I wish I could quote the whole thing, because he explains so well why we need literature in our lives. You can feel his passion for it. I wrote an essay on Llosa's essay once back in 2003, and although I received an A, it fell short of really convincing people to read more. Still there are a few points I would like to make taking a bit from this essay and my own essay.
1. Reading helps bridge the gap between societies, people, cultures, histories etc.
"Literature has been, and will continue to be, as long as it exists, one of the common denominators of human experience through which human beings may recognize themselves and converse with each other, no matter how different their professions, their life plans, their geographical and cultural locations, particularities of their lives, to transcend history: as readers of Cervantes, Shakespeare, Dante, and Tolstoy, we understand each other across space and time[...] We learn what we share as human beings, what remains common in all of us under the broad range of differences that separate us. Nothing better protects a human being against the stupidity of prejudice, racism, religious or political sectarianism, and exclusive nationalism that this truth that invariably appears in great literature: that men and women of all nations and places are essentially equal[...] Nothing teaches us better than literature to see, in ethnic and cultural differences, the richness of the human patrimony, and to prize those differences as a manifestation of humanity's multifaceted creativity." (Llosa)
Okay in a nutshell, literature is a common ground for many people and cultures because not only can you learn about all of our differences but you can embrace them. Because of this knowledge you can avoid fear and hatred of those differences and escape the prison of racism and prejudices. A society without literature is a society that "jeopardizes its freedom."
2. Reading helps shape nations
I seem to remember, and I am not going to look it up, but the best way to dominate a country and take over is to take away the people's freedom to read and to educate themselves. An uneducated person is not going to have the know how to overthrow a throne. Hitler destroyed thousands upon thousands of books that challenged his political views and agendas, or anything that was Jewish. Also because Hitler himself was not an intellectual it would be "smart" to educate the youth in his beliefs and ways and in all things German. The youth were taught Nazi propaganda and were in great physical condition, but they did not know basic math, science, or basic reading and writing, some not even knowing how to capitalize their names. But these kids knew how to follow orders and fight for the fatherland (taken from this site here). Scary to think of it. But it is how he planned to create a new Germany. This sounds a lot like the book "Fahrenheit 451" by Ray Bradbury. Hmmm... the book was written after WWII. Also, think of how the world changed when women started to become more educated and were allowed to read. Perfect illustration, in Disney's Beauty and the Beast, Belle is a reader. She is intelligent, and the townsfolk even sing about how she always has her nose stuck in a book. She doesn't fit in with the simple, uneducated folk in the town. They wouldn't be able to hold a conversation with her. Then you have Gaston who says it all with this short video clip. He does have a simple and unenlightened view about women and their place.
And today in our educated and literate world, we now have women who are vying for the office of US President. For US history the last few years have been unprecedented.
3. Reading is fun and will give you the riches of knowledge.
Reading opens your minds and allows freedom of imagination. As mentioned before you can choose between the werewolf or the vampire, ride the back of a dragon, or whatever it is you want to do, but reading is for knowledge as well as pleasure. You can learn so much about a person by reading a biography. You can learn about politics, religion, cultures, history, so many more things. It also teaches you how to think and how to communicate your thoughts. Words are so very important for society and a person. I cannot imagine trying to communicate through a series of grunts. I need my words. I need my written words. Llosa says, "A person who does not read, or reads too little, or reads only trash, is a person with an impediment: he can speak much but he will say little, because his vocabulary is deficient in the means for self-expression." This is one of the reasons why I started writing this blog, was to learn better how to express myself in a educated and precise way, and to increase my vocabulary. I have learned a lot writing this blog, because I have had to extra reading and research, and I come across so much more than I share. It is beautiful.
4. A computer will never replace a book. I cannot stand reading a screen. It gives me a headache. Of course dropping the book on your head (which I have done) can do that too, but it is so much more fulfilling than to have your eyes hurt from a screen. Besides what are blind people supposed to do. Sheesh. I love the smell of books, that a tablet just cannot give you. Plus I like to write notes in the margins and underline phrases and words that I like. I enjoy flipping through a book, an experience again that a tablet cannot give you. One of my most beloved books has all the pages taped together. It is falling apart. I've read it so many times. Llosa says (and I agree), "I cannot accept the idea that a nonfunctional or nonpragmatic act of reading, one that seeks neither information nor a useful and immediate communication, can integrate on a computer screen the dreams and the pleasures of words with the same sensation of intimacy, the same mental concentration and spiritual isolation, that may be achieved by the act of reading a book."
Of course, if you are like Hubs, who does not like the feel of the books in his hands, then by all means please purchase a tablet, or the kindle app, or iPad, or whatever device it is that you use to read. Please please read. I would rather you read by those means than not at all. Or if you enjoy, like I do on occasion, to listen to audio book. They are great for long car drives or trips. Still there is something to be said about owning and having a book. It is an intimate and personal experience.
There is so much to this essay of Mario Vargas Llosa that I cannot comment on it all, though I wish I could. Mostly I just wanted to express how important the written word is. Even in math and science you need to be able to read and comprehend. The more you do it, the better you will become. Reading is something we should all make a priority at some point in our day. Maybe if it is just for 15 minutes before we fall asleep. If I do that, I tend to be the "just one more chapter." type, and then poof it is three hours later.
Life without literature is what I imagine hell to be like. Or the setting in the book, Fahrenheit 451 (remind you of Nazi Germany at all?) which maybe I should read again because I hated it when I first read it in fourth or fifth grade. Society would be dead, and we would become obsolete without literature and words. Shakespeare would have been just another dude if it weren't for words. Movies would be nothing without words. Treasure the words, the books, the literature. Set yourself free.
"If we wish to avoid the impoverishment of our imagination, and the disappearance of the precious dissatisfaction that refines our sensibility and teaches us to speak with eloquence and rigor, and the weakening of our freedom, then we must act. More precisely, we must read." Mario Vargas Llosa.
Another religious post. I have decided that my posts that fall under religion, they are going to be titled the same. That way, you can decide beforehand if you want to read. I do this because I know not all of you share my beliefs, which is totally cool. I apologize for the length, but I feel the things I share are important. These things also give me much peace and comfort. This is a state of happiness for me.
With all the political and religious hubbub over the last few years, I am disheartened by stories of lost faith, distrust, and even hate. I believe many of us, myself included, sometimes lose sight of the bigger picture. We lose sight of how much Heavenly Father loves each one of us. Many think that Heavenly Father has abandoned them, doesn't love them, and that He doesn't accept them. We mistake "acceptance of" to mean both actions and person. God accepts and loves everyone, but he doesn't always accept our actions. Too often we expect blessings to be just handed to us without any effort on our part. We feel as though we are entitled to the world for free. We also believe that we will live without any struggles, heartache, sorrow, offense and that we will live in absolute happiness. There is a tendency to forget that their must be opposition in all things (2 Nephi 2:11). We are here to be tried and tested. Inevitably we are disappointed as we step into the world and learn that most everything comes at a price. As a result we blame God and we stop doing the things that matter the most. We stop being obedient. Then there are the people who struggle so much that their faith slowly dwindles away, and all ultimately come to the same conclusion, hopelessness. Now I have had different struggles of my own, and many have had struggles that make mine look like walks in the park. The thing is they are my own struggles. God gives us struggles that we can handle and withstand, but that doesn't make it any easier. Remember that He "makes weak things become strong unto them." (Ether 12:27) How much might have I received from fighting my battles? God doesn't give up on us, and He only "leaves" if we leave Him. Still He is always willing to come back. Repentance is one of the many "tender mercies" of the Lord. These tender mercies give me much comfort and sometimes joy. I pray they do the same for you.
Tender mercies. Our worlds are full of God's tender mercies. I absolutely love this talk given by Elder David A. Bednar given way back in April 2005, "The Tender Mercies of the Lord". I am going to comment about this talk, but I recommend reading it (or watching it). It is prophetic and pertains so much to our lives today. The phrase of the title comes from 1 Nephi 1:20 with emphasis on the last bit. "But behold I, Nephi, will show unto you that the tender mercies of the Lord are over all those whom he hath chosen, because of their faith, to make them mighty even unto the power of deliverance." I love this. Not only because I can see these tender mercies in my own life, but I can also see them in others' lives too.
What are the "tender mercies of the Lord?" Elder Bednar describes them beautifully as "the very personal and individualized blessings, strength, protection, assurances, guidance, loving-kindness, consolation, support, and spiritual gifts which we receive from and because of and through the Lord Jesus Christ." Elder Bednar goes on to give more examples such as not leaving us alone during trials, our faith, self-confidence, repentance, forgiveness, and "peace of conscience", "persistence and the fortitude that enable us to press forward with cheerfulness through physical limitations and spiritual difficulties" are all tender mercies. I would add to that the gift of the Holy Ghost is definitely a tender mercy. Being someone else's tender mercy is an amazing experience. A previous post of mine was about service. The video I linked at the end about the kids putting money in the stranger's shoes. That man needed that money desperately, and those children were his tender mercy. Be open to give as well as to receive tender mercies. Be God's instrument.
Elder Bednar also testifies that the mercies from the Lord are real, not a coincidence, and they happen at the time we need them. Things happen on the Lord's time. I am reminded of Job. He had it all, but then literally everything was taken away. His whole life was in shambles. Even his friends turned away. He was truly alone. He says of his suffering, "Even today is my complaint bitter." (Job 23) Then he goes on to say, "But he knoweth the way that I take: When he hath tried me, I shall come forth as gold." God, if I remember correctly, let him struggle emotionally and physically to test Job's faith and obedience. He allows all of us to go through trials, heartaches, and all else that ails us. But He also brings the peace, the comfort, and eventually the joy. After everything, the tender mercy that Job experienced was his testimony. Job 19:25-26 "I know that my redeemer liveth [...] And though after my skin worms destroy this body, yet in my flesh shall I see God." Job chose to remain obedient. As a result of Job's faith and obedience, he received so much more than he had before, truly a tender mercy. D&C 121:7-8 says "My son, peace be unto thy soul; thine adversity and thine afflictions shall be but a small moment; And then, if thou endure it well, God shall exalt thee on high; thou shalt triumph over all thy foes." And verse 46 "The Holy Ghost shall be thy constant companion." How beautiful a promise, and how true for all of us. Still the timing of these blessings are in the hands of God. I know I have had times when I had to wait for my answer. Getting married did not come when I planned, but looking back, I certainly wasn't ready. I planned to get married by age 20 or 21. At that age, I was just diagnosed with T1diabetes. I was trying to figure out my disease and adjusting. I was in no shape to get married. That fantasy husband and I would never have been able to afford the expense of supplies and doctors, and we would never have survived my depression. It was a tender mercy that God brought Hubs into my life when He did five years later. Now there is my plea for children. I have been frustrated, angry, sad, jealous, and resentful. I am trying to remember and have faith that Heavenly Father will bless Hubs and I with children when we are ready. Perhaps right now we just aren't, or we have lessons to learn. Perhaps our lack of children right now is a tender mercy in other respects that we are available to people and family who need us. "Often, the Lord's timing of His tender mercies helps us to both discern and acknowledge them," says Elder Bednar. Faithfulness, obedience, and humility invite tender mercies into our lives, and it is often the Lord's timing that enables us to recognize and treasure these important blessings."
As I mentioned earlier, the world of late, is in a state of pandemonium. It is times like these that we need the Lord's hands in our lives more than ever. I was amazed and heartbroken when I saw a Facebook comment saying that no one, not religion, not even God himself, should dictate how we live our lives. That God will accept us and our life just as it is, no conditions. To me this seems like such a hopeless directionless life. It's like raising a child with no rules or boundaries, allowed to run amok. How many blessings are we missing out on if we cut God out of our lives. Life is hard. I understand how hard it is when trials are raging. I know how easy it is to lose patience. But it's also times like these when we learn who our true friends are, and we can feel so much love from family and other loved ones. That is a tender mercy. "We should not underestimate or overlook the power of the Lord's tender mercies. The simpleness, the sweetness, and the constancy of the tender mercies of the Lord will do much to fortify and protect us in the troubled times in which we do now and will yet live. When words cannot provide the solace we need or express the joy we feel, when it is simply futile to attempt to explain that which is unexplainable, when logic and reason cannot yield adequate understanding about the injustices and inequities of life, when mortal experience and evaluation are insufficient to produce a desired outcome, and when it seems that perhaps we are so totally alone, truly we are blessed by the tender mercies of the Lord and made mighty even unto the power of deliverance." This wisdom from Elder Bednar I believe is saying, if and when we recognize these tender mercies, which are powerful, will make us mighty to withstand anything. Earlier in this post I mentioned that God cannot do everything for us, we have to do our part. We have our agency to choose our paths in life, and God will help guide us if we allow Him to do just that. Our actions determine His reactions.
The talk goes on to explain who qualifies for God's tender mercies. In the scripture that I began with in 1 Nephi, it says "the tender mercies of the Lord are over all those whom he hath chosen, because of their faith." Chosen is a key word, but it does not mean that somebody is more blessed with the tender mercies than others. They are available to all. "Rather," Elder Bednar says, "it is our hearts and our aspirations and our obedience which definitively determine whether we are counted as one of God's chosen. [...] As we learn in [...] scriptures, the fundamental purposes for the gift of agency were to love one another and to choose God. Thus we become God's chosen and invite His tender mercies as we use our agency to choose God." Simply put, choose God, and He will choose you. Turning yourself over to God, living with faith and obedience, will expose the tender mercies we all so dreadfully need. "Our work is to keep His commandments with all of our might, mind, and strength-- and we thereby become chosen and, through the Holy Ghost, receive and recognize the tender mercies of the Lord in our daily lives." Faith and obedience are what binds God's promises to us.
Now I know this is a long post, but I believe it is so crucial to our outlooks on life's trials. The common theme is that God will bestow his tender mercies on His time, and according to our faithfulness. I have witnessed and felt many of His tender mercies in my life and of those around me. They bring me so much peace, comfort, and joy. I know they can do the same for you, if you allow God to do His wonders.
So much has happened these last two weeks. It has been rather overwhelming, but it's been a fabulous overwhelm. Having been out of work for even just a few months has been stressful not only on me, but on my little family as well. I'm not preferential to meatless spaghetti, so I am feeling so much gratitude, happiness, and satisfaction that soon I will be able to add the sausage back to my spaghetti.
I am actually happy about a lot of things right now, so I think I will just conglomerate them all. I have been writing this post for two days, and it hasn't been coming together how I want. It's been a couple of weeks full of frustrations, yes, but also of some incredible spiritual experiences. I feel I just need to share it all. I will try to keep it as brief as possible to accommodate my thought process.
So back to bunching all my happies today into one post. Happy number one is my brand new job as a receptionist. So incredibly happy that it isn't retail, and I had a strange satisfaction that I was able to turn down two retail job offers on my first day. God is definitely blessing us, and is answering our prayers. I have new opportunities, so much to learn, and I am excited to see what this job will unfold. I am also excited about earning a paycheck again and not feeling like a financial burden. We will soon again be able to pay off some bills easier. Always a blessing. A country song just popped into my head by Chris Janson, "I know everybody says money can't buy happiness, but it can buy me a boat, it can buy me a truck to pull it[...]" Go ahead and sing it. You know you want to. I don't want a boat, nor a truck, but you know what I mean. It buys sausage for spaghetti. I am super excited about this new job. "You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream." CS Lewis
Happiness number two is temples. I love living so close to so many temples within a really short distance. I was really needing some spiritual pampering (kind of like how some women needing a mani/pedi). I was feeling frustrated over everything under the sun. I was stressed and needed peace. The temple gave me exactly that. Some of the feelings and the overall experience I had in the temple that day was truly amazing. I felt at peace. Feelings that I know stem from the Gospel of Jesus Christ.
My favorite temple. Oquirrh Mountain
Isaiah 9:6 "For unto us a child is born, unto us a son is given: and the government shall be upon his shoulder: and his name shall be called Wonderful, Counsellor, the mighty God, The everlasting Father, the Prince of Peace." Christ truly is the Prince of Peace. Without Him we would not be able to return to our Heavenly Father's rest (see the book of Hebrews. I just gave a lesson on it). I have felt His peace through the Holy Ghost. My favorite scripture John 14:18 "I will not leave you comfortless: I will come to you." Answers to prayers came that day in the temple.
Happiness number three. Being able to directly communicate to our Heavenly Father through prayer. This is such a blessing, and makes me happy. Here is a semi-quick version of why. I am a person who needs to vent. I bottle things up so much, I occasionally need to explode. To whom can I unload my woes? Who is the perfect confidant? Heavenly Father of course! Heavenly Father wants us to come to Him with our troubles, our happies, our whatevers. He wants us to ask for things, to show gratitude for the blessings He deems fit to give us. If it is important to us, it is important to Him. People gossip. They spill the beans, and soon many people that you have never even talked to know about your life. Guess what? Heavenly Father doesn't do that. He won't gossip and spill the beans. He may give someone inspiration to come to your aid if you have need, but He won't betray trust. God always answers prayers. It is up to us to have faith, to be patient for (sometimes answers don't come until years later) listen for, recognize, and accept the answers that we get. Silly example, when I was young, I put my name in a drawing for a huge stuffed lion. I wanted it so bad. I prayed to win. Guess what I didn't win the lion. I was disappointed in God. He did not answer my prayer the way I wanted. I didn't understand. I prayed for it, and I "knew" that God would get it for me. Now years later in retrospect, me not winning was the answer. I did not need the lion. It would have never fit in my room, so what was I to do with it? I probably would have hated it the first day. I know I would hate it now. God knew those things, so His answer was "No." God knows best, and it is His will, His plan. Well, that will and that plan said I did not need that gargantuan stuffed lion, and I survived. Reminds me of another country song by Garth Brooks, "Sometimes God's greatest gifts are unanswered prayers." I know you sang it in your head. Don't lie!! LOL.
Happiness number four. Just a funny from taking a word in the scriptures in the wrong sense. Hebrews 11:33-34. It says that faith will save us from alien invasion. War of the Worlds, Independence Day, Signs, those movies got nothing on how to survive alien doomsday. Just saying :). I am sure God has a sense of humor.
So a whole lot of stuff for which to be both grateful and happy: new job, temples, prayer, and safety from aliens. It really was a lot of emotion to handle all at once. I sign off with a quote from President Ezra Taft Benson, "We will never be alone if we live as we should, because our Father will always be with us to bless us. He wants us to be successful. He wants us to be happy. He wants us to achieve the good goals we set. He will do His part if we do our part."
