Not Completely in Love with You

"Marriage is a mosaic you build with your spouse, millions of tiny moments that create your love story." Jennifer Smith
I have been sick this week, so I have been cranky and whiny. My poor Hubs. He is so good and patient, and he hasn't felt that great either. House full of sicklings. Because he has been so great, I just have to give a shout out to my Hubs and my marriage. I have to say that my marriage is the thing that makes me the happiest.

For us marriage is eternal. It does not end when we die. "Till death do part" (or whatever it is) is not in our ceremony. Our words say "for time and all eternity." Marriage is another step to bringing us closer to our Father in Heaven. I am so excited that I get to spend eternity with this wonderful guy. Weddings are happy affairs. That moment when you and your spouse truly become one literally and figuratively. Then to build that relationship, making it stronger. Hubs once told me, he wasn't completely in love with me when we got married. I was of course a little taken aback and momentarily insulted, but then he said, "How could I have been when I fall more in love every day?" Good point, right? Still gives me warm and fuzzies when I think of that. Sweet moment. Love is a progression. The word "complete" is so final. I completed my homework, means I'm done. Complete means an end. Love, on the other hand, it should never end, and if it does, then what? I would be worried if our love stopped growing. We still have so much more to learn. I fall in love again with Hubs over and over again, and more and more. Those times I can't help but stare at him, and he tells me to stop looking at him. I can't help it. He's a fabulously good looking man.

Don't we look so cute?

Hubs and I, we took the dating slow, and then we were engaged for a really long time. Okay, slow and long for LDS standards. We were engaged for over a year. Normal LDS couples are engaged for only three months or so. We waited for so long because we wanted to be married in the temple. Because Hubs had been married before in the temple to his ex, he had to get special permission from the first presidency of the church. That is the prophet and his counselors. Since marriage is such a big deal, the first presidency does not take these things lightly. It's a huge undertaking to even get the process started, but that's a different story. It took over a year to get permission. Sometimes it takes less, I think it just depends on circumstances. That was one of the hardest years of my life. Hubs was getting a different job and moving to the next city over. I had to wait till my lease was up before I followed him. I lost my job, and then I was homeless when I finally was able to move. It was a rough year. Many tears were shed, and we almost gave up on our temple wedding. You can see we didn't, and I am so happy that we stayed strong. And that difficult year, made our wedding day that much sweeter.

Hubs and I are not perfect. We have squabbles sure, but that makes us normal I think. I wouldn't say opposites attract when it comes to marriage. I would say marriage is an attraction and joining of complementaries (I know it isn't a word). We are not an opposite of each other. We compliment each other. We are not the same. First one is the easiest one. Male and female. We fill in each other's gaps. I am a hopeless romantic, and Hubs just isn't. I am somewhat of a dreamer and can be caught with my head in the clouds, Hubs keeps me grounded. I am uncomfortable in a starchy clean house. I don't mind a little clutter or the look of "someone lives here", and Hubs is clean and organized. I am a terrible housekeeper. I clean something, and it doesn't look clean. I can scrub and scrub to no avail. Even vacuuming eludes me. Then Hubs comes in and nonchalantly swipes the rag and whatever it is is clean. Where Hubs is direct, I am subtle. Hubs would probably be good at poker, because he has the ability to be stoic. I wear my emotions all over. Where I am touchy feelie, Hubs is not so much. Still we have things in common. We like the same type of music. We share a love for movies of all kinds (maybe not so much chick clicks on his part). We love documentaries about nature and animals. We enjoy games (except we cannot play Monopoly). We like trivia things. I could go on, but I won't. I learn from Hubs. Hubs learns from me.

Hubs, he is a good guy. It may be what I love most about him. One thing that made me fall in love with him, was when he had problems in the process of his divorce, Hubs decided to stay close to his testimony of the gospel of Jesus Christ. Hubs was tempted to stray, but he didn't. Hubs is so committed and dependable. You can count on him to do something that he says he will do, or if you ask him. He will do what he can for you if you need help. Hubs works hard. He really does his best to provide and make sure I am taken care of. We are not blessed with children yet, but when we are, I know he will work just as hard if not harder for them. He does his best to be understanding when I am moody or in emotional upheaval. Hubs makes me laugh. Somehow he is excellent at timing his little quips and comebacks. In spite of his direct personality, he is quietly mischievous. His jokes or pranks aren't huge and elaborate but subtle. If you look over and see a cheesy grin, you know something came or is coming. He is an all around good man. Sure there are times I want to throttle him, and he wants to throttle me, but that's life and those times end in love. I would be worried if there weren't those times. I love my man.

So yes our marriage needs nourishment and care, but that's why we have each other. Even in our down times, I can honestly say I am happy. We get to be together. We have each other to count on when times are rough. We have each other's support. Why would anyone choose less? Love is an endless progression. I love you incompletely, Hubs.

Thank you, Hubs for five (and a bit) wonderful years.

"Dating and marriage aren't final destinations. They are the gateway to where you ultimately want to go." Robert D. Hales